i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
