ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
