So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
