We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize