last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
