she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
