Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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