Fuck appropriateness.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
