"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
