I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
