God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
