There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
