Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize