Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
