I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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