Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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