Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
