What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
