these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
