I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
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thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
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Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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