She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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