Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
