dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize