yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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