Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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