My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
please don't ironically join a cult
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