you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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