and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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