My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.