Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Ontario

he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy

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(620): View more from Kansas

You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(419): View more from Ohio

who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage

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(587): View more from Alberta

So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck

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(706): View more from Georgia

From one hot mess to another... Get it together.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.

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(713): View more from Texas

The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.

(713): View more from Texas

Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.

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