ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We are two peas in an std pod
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
