Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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