Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store