Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.