We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus