I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
