why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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