hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He felt like a one man threesome
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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