My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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