i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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