you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think my vagina is haunted
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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