I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
