Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My balls are so social today.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
