my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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