Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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