idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
