Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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