Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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