im about as happy as oj after his trial
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
