i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
When are your genitals available?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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