we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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