I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
