Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
