Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
