how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
