How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
