I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize