He is such a slut. More and more my type.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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