There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
