im having a threesome with these popsicles
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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