Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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