Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
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Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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