would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
only if we run a train.
done.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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