I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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